It’s a common dilemna; sad but true. Great person, fun date, lousy kisser… ARGH!
The joy of kissing is not one anyone should be denied.
Necessity is always a good motivator for invention, and that’s how I learned how to teach a man to kiss. (I’m sure it will work on women, too, but leave it to others to prove it.) I’d been out with this guy a few times and he was attractive, interesting, and most of all, open minded. It was the latter quality that gave me the confidence to broach the topic of kissing. Well, actually, it was that and the fact that I was about to dump him because rightly or wrongly, I think that bad kissers aren’t good lovers. It seems to me that if they can’t master the basic building block of sexy fun (creating and giving pleasure) with their mouth, I have no reason to believe they will be more adept with other parts of their body.
Anyway, I am happy to tell you that in one quick lesson, my date became a fabulous kisser. And, he is really glad that I spoke up because now that we don’t date anymore (for other reasons), he’s getting a lot more second and third dates with other women. Funny what a difference kissing well makes. Good thing it’s so easy to become a great kisser.
The simple secret to kissing well?
Kiss with Intention.
Here are the 5 Simple Steps to Teach Someone to Kiss with Intention:
- Hold their face in your hands (kindly!) and look them in the eyes with affection and warmth, not disdain and chastisement.
- Ask them if they want to kiss you. Assuming the answer is yes (if it’s not, let go quick, lol!), ask them what they want their kiss to say.
- Give them examples of what a kiss can convey such as “I adore you”, “I want you so much right now”, “I’m so sorry and I hope you forgive me”, “I am sad to be leaving you”, “I need you”, “I don’t care about your pleasure, I’m just going to take mine”, “You’re mine”, “This is getting me really excited”...
- Point out that just like we start with simple words and then progress to sentences and paragraphs, our kissing can start out with one message and develop into an entire story. Similarly, if they start speaking or kissing, without any idea of what they want to communicate, you certainly aren’t going to have a clue how to respond. And then the conversation, or kiss, is just awkward and uncomfortable.
- Then invite them to use their mouth, tongue, hands and bodies to convey their intended message. Suggest that they can pause for effect, or use their tongue, pressure of lips, hands and breath for emphasis.
Extra Credit: Play a quick game of kissing charades where they kiss you and you try to guess what they are telling you. Don’t be afraid to laugh - kissing someone because you think they are funny and they crack you up is perfectly acceptable!
So go out and Kiss Well and often!
